Wellbeing is more than the absence of illness.

It is a state of being positively connected to the ingredients of a fulfilled life.

Here is a picture describing the five important factors that make up wellbeing.

Let's explore how wellbeing is connected to Tayyib.

Higher Purpose

Wellbeing comes from having a life of purpose. The Muslim has little difficulty with that in theory. We are, after all, here by Allah’s will, and our purpose is to be of good character and to show commitment to what He has instructed us to do.

Alongside this there is the real meaning of being a Muslim: someone who has found peace in submitting to Allah’s will. We are commanded to regard ourselves as the products of Allah’s will and to thankfully accept all of our gifts, flaws, and limitations. Our value lies within this, not within our appearance or other superficial things. We should make effort to look after our bodies, but not for the sake of feeling valuable. We are already valuable. We look after our bodies because we are looking after what Allah has lent to us. This is true meaning, and this is reflecting good character.

Mastery (also known as Competence)

As a Tayyib person, whether you are a Counsellor or just someone who is learning about Tayyib in life, you will come across people who are curious about what you do. It is your privilege and joy to help them. You have skills and knowledge from doing this course. Spread that goodness.

Skills and knowledge are required to achieve most worthy things. Mastery is a process where we work on becoming more skilled or capable at any given activity or task, whether it be understanding ourselves, learning a new skill or profession, or looking after our health.

Doing this course is, in effect, gaining mastery over the important issue of eating properly and controlling weight. Simply learning the knowledge feels good, and contributes to our overall wellbeing- our sense of being at ease with the world.

In an indirect way, becoming healthier even has an enabling effect on other parts of life. If you have better weight, you are physically more capable to do things which you could not do as well before. You could play sports better, be fitter to make trips, or put your sharpened mind to use by learning other things.

Relatedness

Islam is nothing if not practical and grounded. Allah is fully aware that most people’s thinking is dramatically influenced by their Nafs. People cannot help but judge themselves and others by appearance, loyalty, status, first impressions and so on.

Being healthier, looking healthier and so on, all make a better impression on others. This not an ideal world, but it is a reality. People with better appearance in terms of their weight and self-care have better chances of getting jobs, being promoted, having better social encounters and so on. This is reflected in better incomes and higher achievements.

The external world remains a judgmental place, unfortunately, so we might as well play to win by doing whatever we can to get that foothold upwards if that is what we seek. Allah does not judge us on these things, but the material world does. And there is an indirect connection between this reality and our own Imaan. If you have more money or a nicer job, or have a wider circle of influential friends, you have the chance to make that work in your favour if you make more time. More time means you are more able to focus on matters of Deen rather than worrying about income and so on.

Relating to the self is also part of relatedness. In relating to yourself, you are a creature of Allah. As such it is wise to consider how you relate to yourself- how you treat this creature who happens to be you. Kindness and understanding are key, as is learning how to better manage your emotions and impulses. I

Your appearance or weight should not determine your true value or self-esteem. This is, however, difficult to do, and moreover, not quite what I am suggesting. We cannot ignore the Nafs altogether. It is like an alarm system that gets louder the more you ignore it. Much of our wellbeing comes from working alongside the desires of the Nafs in a measured and sympathetic way. We coax it, and give it a little bit of what makes it happy.

So, if you feel unhappy because of your weight, don’t ignore the feeling even if it is a bit irrational. Accept the feeling as a part of yourself. This is the nature of the Nafs. Accepting it does not mean you agree with it, but it does mean you stop trying fight it or ignore it. You try to listen to the sensible message hidden within the irrational message. That sensible message is ‘look after your health!’ Once you hear that in your Heart- your true self- you have helped your Nafs feel listened to, and you can direct yourself towards planned efforts to look after your health. Tayyib is exactly such a way.

Autonomy

Autonomy is about exercising our free will and having a sense of being in command. We are accountable and responsible for our actions in life. This might seem slightly scary but in reality it adds to our strength. True wellbeing improves when we take responsibility for our thoughts and actions, embracing our errors and successes all alike. This is a very empowering feeling. We become more realistic and grounded.

Example of gaining better command of our wellbeing.

If we are out shopping for food and pass by rows of sugary snacks, we may feel tempted to pick some up. We get home and eat them, then feel bad for having strayed from our rules. Autonomy helps us if we look back at the situation and reflect on it, taking responsibility for it rather than seeing it as a mere ‘loss of control’.

To break it down:

1. You chose to go down the aisle of junk food, and that is where temptation got the better of you. So for one thing, you understand that free will is difficult to control in the face of temptation. You can then plan better. What do you do next time? You avoid going down that aisle in future. Problem solved. Happier and more content.

2. You felt good while eating the sweets and chocolates. That’s why you ate them! They gave you a short period of pleasure. You might feel bad afterwards, but there was a time of enjoyment. Accepting that is the key to making a better plan in future. So, what can you do?

One option is to plan to buy the snacks at a given time rather than deny them forever. Once a week, you get one or two of those snacks. You still get the pleasure, but two things have happened: you get to enjoy it without that sense of guilt, and next time you get tempted, you are able to tell yourself that you will indeed buy the snack but at a time that you have set aside. For some temptations and pleasures which are halal, delaying them is better than outright denial.

That way the Nafs is not provoked into guilt or escalation; it is given a little bit of what it wants, and we can move on. As a result you notice that you actually binge far less often. Subhanallah!

Moments of joy

A fulfilled life is dotted with little moments every day when we can truly take pleasure in appreciating and savouring good things. A smile, a pretty scene, a magnificent creation of Allah in nature, and any pleasure from the senses. In food, we have been given a chance to relish its taste, its provision, and the opportunity that the occasion of mealtime gives us to connect with our families and friends.

Eating any food, even if it is not the healthiest food, is a chance to immerse our senses in that moment in itself. Respect the food, paying attention to it and nothing else while we eat. We have to eat slowly, mindfully, bringing ourselves to the moment. Trying this with even the most humble food can be a revelation. Tayyib foods are by far the finest in their mix of natural, deep flavours and nourishment.

Eating with due respect and depth of feeling

• Pleasure of sight. Take a single date from a packet. Sit with it and spend some time first of all looking at it closely. Give thanks to Allah for this remarkable little fruit, packed with nutrients and moisture, growing in the most unlikely of places in hot, dry conditions.
• Pleasure of touch. Feel it in your hands, carefully examining its lightly harder shell, pressing it to feel the soft flesh just beneath. Break it or cut it up.
• Pleasure of smell. Take some of the flesh and spread it on your finger, and see if you can smell its subtle rich aroma. Breathe slowly, take your time about the process.
• Pleasure of taste. Now eat part of the fruit, or all of it. Do so slowly, letting all of its taste and texture flood your senses. Close your eyes if it helps. Chew it slowly, gratefully, and swallow it after a while.
• Pleasure of contemplation. Once swallowed, feel that sense of something nourishing your body. Imagine its journey, as it is broken down and enters your blood, nourishing every part of you as it surely will.

Joy in the way we treat Allah’s provision

Allah instructs us to show good character and kindness in the way we treat His creation, looking after our crops and animals in a way that does not harm them or force them to grow unnaturally.

If you don’t farm it yourself, make an effort to buy things which have been produced responsibly and kindly. Every penny you spend in this way changes the way we treat the world for the better. This should rightly give you a sense of deep joy in itself. You have become more integrated and consistent in your approach to life. What is more, you will be buying foods that are nutritionally better for you.