Tool: The Storm Shelter

Outcome:

• Understand and practice simple acceptance, to defuse anxiety.
• Use this shelter while you build skills and other techniques.

Key message: You need not be an expert in stress to accept that it happens. Acceptance itself is powerful.

While flying to explore another island, the bird was caught in a sudden storm. It flitted about in the wind, fighting for its life. It was becoming exhausted. But then, through a tiny break in the clouds, it saw a little hut just on the shore down below, about a mile ahead. Relief. Gathering the last few beats of its wings, it dived down and let itself in through a tiny gap underneath the eaves. There, it found comfort for a while, in this shelter.

Imagine you live on an island. You have a little hut, a refuge that you go to if there is a storm. Storms come and go; they’re part of island life. Sometimes they do a little damage, sometimes not. They always seem a lot worse when they’re coming, compared to afterwards. That’s the power they have over you: the power of fear. How about you simply let them pass?

This hut is a basic but comfortable space. When you’re in it, the storm lashes away. It’s busy trying to convince you that your whole island is being washed away. You fear the worst; the noises, the crashes and bangs outside, it’s all very scary.

But hold on. This is not your first rodeo. You have seen storms come and go. Sure, there have been some bad ones, but you are still on your island. You have always rebuilt. More to the point, storms always came to an end, and panicking about them did nothing whatsoever to reduce their damage.

So you simply stay put in your hut. Accept there’s a storm. Accept that there are horrible noises and fears that your island is being destroyed, but know better. The storm always passes, and your island is always rebuilt. You will find a way. And you will do it much better if you don’t lose your mind panicking about it.

You can accept that life is difficult but you must also accept that you can change some things and not others. So, when the storm passes, you get out and look at what you can fix, and deal with it as best you can. The rest of it was never in your control anyway. The hut was a great relief. You were totally wise to shelter in it for a while.

Now, take a moment and think about a recent stressful situation you’ve encountered. Close your eyes and transport yourself to the island hut in your mind. Allow yourself to feel the sense of relief and tranquillity that comes with being in this safe space. Embrace the acceptance that stress is a part of life, but remember that it is temporary. Just as calming waves wash ashore and recede, so too will your stress ebb away with time.